yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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