I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
