I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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