she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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