I didn't shave. On purpose
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
