I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
