remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
