I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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