I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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