Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
