Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
wow bdsm is so cute
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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