How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
