So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Also, beer. Big fan.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
