Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
