I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
