whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
