I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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