I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
