Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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