Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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