I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
