well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
