I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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