Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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