i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
