Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
