I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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