all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
