I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we're making bets on your personal life
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
