apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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