i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
