After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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