I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
operation have a gay friend backfired
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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