He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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