i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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