Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
