Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
