its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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