How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
