this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
