Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
