he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
