But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
