I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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