my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
