your room smells of hookers.
And success
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's never too late to be topless.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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