It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
