"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
