I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
