It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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