I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
